

We have free stickers by the door.1 of5 Barry's dad, John Barsamian's with one of the most prized collection pieces, Hitler's world globe he personally acquired in 1945 at the end of WWII. So again, if that’s a crime, take me away to jail. And the lava flowing through the floor of the rumpus room is also something I’ve built.


The loving terrified pleas that emerge as they try to save one another. The floor is lava.” There’s a lot more urgency now. Was it worth it? I invite you to come to my house, come into the rumpus room, and listen to the way my boys tell each other, “Be careful. To them, that’s what love is, and I think that’s a valuable benchmark for when they go to proms and get married and so forth. Creg and Dostin have seen their old man installing the lava equipment himself, They’ve seen me lose all of my left hand and most of my right leg. That kind of technology involves the kind of shady deals with the black market nuclear submarine community that most dads aren’t willing to make.īut it’s more than money, more than light terrorism. How the hell else are you going to keep it superheated? Ever thought of that. And that’s before acquiring the lava rock, superheating it to 2000 degrees, and sourcing a pump system so it’s in constant motion. But then you have to get the metal tungsten fabricated into floor covering specific to the configurations of a given rumpus room. Just acquiring thousands of kilograms of metal tungsten is too much hassle for guys who would rather be cutting the grass or whatever. I understand why worse dads wouldn’t want to commit to this. That’s what we all want.Īnd look, I get it. And being the best dad, defeating the other dads, that’s what’s important here. Who loves their kids more: a dad who gets his kid a video game system for a few hundred bucks or a dad who spends hundreds of thousands of dollars and commits a remarkable number of crimes installing lava in the rumpus room? Who’s more committed? Who’s spending more? Who’s willing to go the farthest? Then that’s your better dad. Let me ask you this: are my sons Creg and Dostin more likely to act safely when knowing that if they fall off the couch, you’ll land on carpet? Or if they know it’s actual lava on the floor of the rumpus room? You do the math. In truth, I care more about safety than any of you. Or anywhere that any living thing might be. People have told me it’s unsafe to have lava in the rumpus room. It was then I decided to do something about it for my kids, for reality, and for the environmental ecosystem. The idea that we had failed our children so completely that they had to live in this hallucinatory world made me want to anger vomit. And be.Ībout a year ago, I picked up my sons from a birthday party where all the kids were playing “the floor is lava” in this birthday boy’s rumpus room. Because apparently becoming the most awesome dad in the world is a terrible thing to do. And what I’d like to say to everyone here is that I’m sorry. I’m a member of the community, I’m an ex-husband, I’m a friend, I’m a home-renter, I’m a son and a brother and an uncle, and I’ve recently become a skilled amateur firefighter. That’s first and foremost in my mind at all times. I heard there’s national media too, which surprises me, and the US Geological Survey, which does not surprise me.
#Rumpus room san francisco tv#
I know we have folks from the paper and the TV station here in town. I thought the controversy would have blown over by now, but it hasn’t, and I want to put an end to it so my family can move on. First of all, thanks for being here on pretty short notice.
